Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s been over a month since I stopped taking sertraline but why do I still feel side effects like brain zaps and anxiety mood changes? The root cause of anxiety it’s your thinking and I perfectly master that better than before so it’s hard lately.

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I vibrated my dogs shock collar while it was eating my other dog’s food and now it won’t eat. How do I fix this problem?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I actually pay taxes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What has been your best sexual experience?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Kquorans, can you please write a story?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

How do I get over a long-term relationship breakup?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What kind of pleasure do gay men get from being bottom? The idea is very appealing to me but in practice it's quite painful.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Your Camper’s Water Tank Could Be Carrying Serious Diseases, Here’s How To Fix It - The Autopian

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I can read

Did you use the internet during the DOS era? Can you describe your experience? How were images displayed on the black screen when everything was just text-based commands?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Is the Shia claim true that Imam Ali was born inside the Kaaba?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I caught my neighbor leaving his 12-year-old son home alone and he has not come back in 6 hours. Should I call CPS?

I don’t buy bullshit

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

How do you write a letter to your uncle who sent you money for your birthday outfit?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fakery

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t cotton to rapists

I can count

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center